your thong is hanging out like whoa
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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