you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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