did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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