3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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