i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize