I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize