alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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