hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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