A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
time to smoke my breakfast
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize