loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize