these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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