I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize