I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize