But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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