that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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