i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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