I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
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At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
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You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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