She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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