i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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