Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
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Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
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Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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