I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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