My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My first STD was from a foam party
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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