after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize