If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
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Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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