You're so nebulous sometimes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ride that face into the sunset
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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