You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
there is puke in my bra ... again
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