Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize