I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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