It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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