Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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