remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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