a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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