she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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