I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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