we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
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Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
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I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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