Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize