...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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