she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize