thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize