So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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