i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize