i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
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You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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