I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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