very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize