Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
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She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
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If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize