I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize