You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
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i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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