we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He keeps bees of course he's weird
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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