Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
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then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
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Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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