dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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