I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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