I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
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At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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